You can’t outrun your past. It is always with you no matter where you go.
It’s a part of you, it’s energy stored within you.
The only way to move beyond your past is to make peace with it and let it go.
That means experiencing it again
Not literally, but experiencing the energy and the memory of it. Normally when unpleasant past experiences start to surface, since we don’t want to see them we shove them back down.
They are trying to leave us, but we won’t let them. But once something is trapped in our subconscious mind, the only way out is for it to pass by our consciousness again. Yes, that sucks, but once it’s out, it’s gone forever.
To truly let go
The only thing you have to do to let it out is not hold it in. Our experiences are like helium balloons just waiting to fly away but when they get to the gate of our consciousness we stop them from leaving.
All you have to do is build the awareness to notice when your past is surfacing and just watch as it goes. Don’t react to it or you will trap it. Just watch it.
You may feel angry, you most likely will feel physical heat at the very least. But just watch. Don’t react. And let go.
Remove stimulus to expedite the process
The more you remove external stimulus like TV, movies, music, socializing, reading, etc. The more you will experience past energy coming to the surface. That’s why we stay busy all the fucking time. We want to avoid those experiences so we make sure to consume as much stimulus as possible.
This is why monks shut themselves off from the world. When you’re not taking external stimulus, it is much easier to cleanse yourself.
Make more time and space for your mind. Consume less. Let it go.
Each time a past experience leaves you, you can move forward stronger than ever.