Does money make you happy?
Well, no, obviously. The feeling of happiness comes from neurotransmitters in your brain… so money cannot actually MAKE you happy.
But money can purchase novel experiences which leads to the release of those neurotransmitters in your brain. However, novelty wears off quickly, so your returns are greatly diminishing.
Another, bigger, impact money can have on your mental wellbeing is that money can alleviate stress.
Here are a few examples of what I mean:
-If you have a toothache but don’t know if you have the money to go to the dentist, money will help.
-If you are worried about making rent, money will help.
-If you’re praying your car makes it for a few more months without breaking down, money will help.
Money is often seen as the kryptonite to all life problems.
Whenever we feel discontent, we think more money could resolve it.
Once you have enough money to not stress about little things and are able to afford a few nice things, that’s about as far as money will take you in terms of happiness.
Don’t get caught in keeping up with the Jones’ and begin to trade more and more time for money. Once you have enough money, stressing yourself out to make more is just going to, well, stress you out.
Thinking money will solve all your problems is a lazy way of thinking and often a failure to recognize what your actual problem is. Our mind will do this because it doesn’t want to have to change. If the answers can be found externally, that means we don’t have to change our thought patterns. But as soon as you realize the problems are originating in your mind, that’s when the real work starts.
The Pillars of Happiness
Happiness in dependent on many different pillars, only one of which is financial. Obsessively focusing on finance may be an indication that you’re avoiding other, more pressing areas of life.
Some other important areas of life are your:
-Relationships
-Physical and Mental Health
-Purpose in life
-Contribution to the world
-Hobbies and interests
To be honest, finances are easy to master compared to these other areas. I’ve written before about how being financially free is a science but in the other area’s it’s not so straightforward.
Let’s look at each of these areas and compare some good questions with a silly, but common “Money buys happiness” approach:
Relationships
If you’re not satisfied with the quality of your relationships, it may be time to really look at how you interact with others.
Good questions:
-Am I presenting myself in a genuine way socially?
-Am I in environments where I can meet the kinds of people I want to be around?
-Am I communicating what I need to feel connected in a relationship?
-Do I need to be a better friend or partner and focus of meeting other’s needs so they feel valued and connected?
Money buys happiness approach:
-If I have more money, people will respect me, want to hang out with me and then I’ll feel connection.
Health
If your health is in jeopardy and you’re getting sick often or suffering from mental illness. Or if you just don’t feel as energetic or as confident as you’d like, it may be time to focus on your health.
Good questions:
-Do I eat food to nourish myself or do I eat to feel comfort in the moment?
-Have I ever taken the time to pay attention to how certain foods make me feel?
-What do healthy/ fit people do to optimize their bodies?
-How can I get a better nights sleep? What’s interfering with that?
-What routines and habits do I have that negatively effect my health?
Money buys happiness approach:
-If my health ever becomes I problem, I’ll pay surgeries, doctors, and trainers to fix it for me.
Purpose In Life
This is a deep existential question we all juggle at various times in life. The answer is unique to the individual and often only manifests itself after years of searching or a very intense experience.
Good Questions:
-If I had six months to live, what would I do?
-If money wasn’t a concern, what would I do?
-How can I live my life so that when I leave this earth, I’ll have no regrets?
Money buys happiness approach:
-Everyone else is pursing wealth, so the answers must be there. I’ll just play the game like everyone else. After all why would EVERYONE being looking there if it was the wrong place?
Contribution to the World
The older I get, the more I realize how important contribution is.
Good Questions:
-Where do I see suffering in the world around me?
-How can I use my skillset to help those who are in need?
-What is a small action I could take today to send a little ripple of goodness into the world?
Money buys happiness approach:
-I’ll donate to some charities once I cash out of my company.
Hobbies and Interests
Have you ever asked someone what their hobbies are and totally caught them off guard? It’s not uncommon for retirees (especially men) to die within a few years of retirement. I think a big part of it is they don’t know how to enjoy their free time.
Good questions:
-What do I enjoy doing?
-What does my ideal day look like?
-What areas interest me and how can I dive deeper into them?
-Are their ways to enjoy my passion socially so I can connect with other likeminded people?
Money buys happiness approach:
-I don’t have time for hobbies, once I get X amount of money I’ll have time to find hobbies.
It continues to astonish me how little grown adults know about themselves.
The fact that we don’t know who we are and how strangely difficult it is to find out say’s a lot. I think we’re caught in an awkward dance between reconciling our rational brain with our more primitive desires while trying to make ourselves fit in ever changing social landscape (ie society). Not an easy thing to do.
I wish I had the answers for you. Sometimes I wish I could go back to the ignorance of believing that enough money would solve all my problems. But once you leave a place of ignorance, you can never go back.
I really encourage you to take small steps towards truly knowing yourself and finding your path in the world. There’s only so many questions you can ask before you start getting answers that will truly change you.