There’s a cycle that we all go through over and over again. It goes something like this:
You’re in a bad spot. Things aren’t going well socially or financially and you’ve been lazy and notice you’re getting out of shape. You’ve been turning to partying or other sensual pleasure to try to avoid the reality that you’re slipping and your confidence is taking a hit.
One day, you hit rock bottom and decide: “You know what, fuck this! I’m better than this!!” And you commit then and there to become your best self.
You start going to the gym again and pushing yourself hard. You clean up your diet and research new meals and nutrition. You start pursuing those side hustles you’ve always kicked around in the back of your mind. You start putting in some serious work and sure enough, you start seeing results.
Now here’s where something funny happens.
You have your confidence back you want to show people how well you’ve been doing. You’re genuinely proud of what you’ve accomplished and you’re exited about where you’re headed.
You hit up some buddies to go grab drinks and you’re getting them pumped up with your energy about life. You grab drinks, eat some foods that you’ve been staying away from and stay up much later than you have been. Sure you’re breaking your routine a bit but what good is life if you’re not having any fun?
You have a great night, meet some cute girls and maybe even hit it off with one. The next morning you’re tired and don’t feel up to jumping back into your routine. It’s all right, you’ve been working for weeks, and you can use a little R&R.
Sounds logical right?
It sure does, because that’s your mind using logic to keep you in your comfort zone. Your mind doesn’t want you to change for better or for worse and the end result is we get caught in an infinite feedback loop and never make too much progress in any direction.
Before you know it you’re back to:
“You know what, fuck this! I’m better than this!!” And once again commit to being your best self.
So what went wrong?
You were working really hard and needed a break, unfortunately you rewarded you’re good habits with bad ones. This is where meditation and awareness are key, when you act on impulse you generally get yourself into trouble.
Sure your intensions were good. You wanted to share your energy and results with your friends but you underestimated how sneaky your mind is. It used a euphoric state to rationalized a return to the habits of drinking, eating poorly and staying up late that led you to hit rock bottom in the first place.
There was a way to share your energy and still stick to your new habits but your mind tricked you and it did it on purpose. It truly believes it’s protecting you because if you kept on your good habit trajectory, you’d no doubt continue to change and evolve and well, that’s scary to your mind. Minds do not like the unknown.
Find a better reward
An alternative to the night out with your buddies could have been to invite them over for a cookout and to cook one of your new recipes for them and bring them into your good habit circle.
I share this with you because it’s happened to me more times than I can count and I’m sure it’ll happen again. The difference is now I’ve seen the trickery my mind can play. I don’t always catch it, but I’m starting to see it more often than I have.